Keep Moving. Isn't That What We Do?
When I was at the start of this slow race of loss after losing my 17 year old son, Dominic, in July, 2022, I ran with my emotions. Sometimes I ran from my emotions. But, I kept moving.
Running around the lake also lets me to listen audio books, one of which I read, hoping it would show me how to ask for, open to, and recognize signs from Dominic.
Less than a mile into chapter one, a green, grand, heart-shaped leaf placed itself directly in my path. Dominic’s first sign! Overwhelmed with his presence, I realized that Dominic figured out how to communicate with me. I was motivated to learn his language. I found comfort.
Recently, more parents have been confiding in me that their kids are still struggling — more than they anticipated — to live their lives without Dominic. This thing called grief is something we are all in the middle of a crash-course. It should be getting easier.
But it still hurts. What they have been running away from is still right here, no matter where they turn. Especially those who spend their summer here, “home,” the memories just won’t fade. In fact, they are much more vibrant. And our kids need our help.
3 Hints to Help Our Kids with the 3 Year Hurt
- Look for signs – Dominic is all around us! You send me his signs all the time. Show your kids, too! Seek comfort in green hearts, sunsets, dragonflies, eagles, and pennies from heaven. Look for him. He’s here!
- Seek resources – Read or listen to books, like Signs, by Laura Lynne Jackson, or The Grieving Brain, by Mary-Frances O’Connor. In small bites, share the helpful parts of these books with your your kids. Share with them helpful Tik Toks or Reels. Get them talking! Encourage them to see a therapist or counselor. Start at your health insurance website directory, or check with Sondermind, or Psychology Today.
- Gather – Grieving together lessens the pain of sadness. Explore those books with someone else who is going through this experience. Togetherness can give great comfort. Come to Dominic’s 2nd Annual Scholarship Awards Luncheon on Sunday, July 27th.
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“Love shared multiplies. Grief shared divides,” my sister, Lori, presented last November to grieving attendees at M.A.D.D.’s Candlelight Vigil.
Join us when we gather on Sunday, July 27th, Our love for Dominic will multiply, our grief will divide, and we will honor his grit by celebrating 6 athletes who may not carry on his name, but keep his spirit on the turf.
This morning’s run I had no mind-space for sign-seeking. I was all in my head, composing my presentation for our upcoming scholarship luncheon. Dominic didn’t need me to ask him to show up. He found me. And I knew I was ready to share his message with you. I hope to see you at Dominic’s scholarship awards luncheon.
